Navigating a divorce can feel overwhelming, especially for parents. Emotions run high, the process is confusing and finding the right professionals to guide you can feel like finding a needle in a haystack. In a recent interview on the Oviedo Winter Springs Chamber's Studio 434 Podcast, divorce mediator and coach Tina Keyes shared essential insights on how to approach divorce in a way that is both amicable and affordable. These insights are especially valuable for parents who are facing many years of co-parenting ahead after moving through this divorce chapter.
Watch the interview below...
Divorce CAN be amicable and affordable
Tina Keyes stresses that open communication is vital during a divorce. An amicable divorce does not mean ignoring emotions; instead, it involves mutual respect and understanding throughout the process. Tina highlights that couples who maintain an amicable approach significantly benefit their children, reducing the emotional trauma that often accompanies a divorce.
Tina points out that by focusing on shared goals and looking at the divorce process as a "problem-solving" exercise rather than a "war", couples can create a co-parenting plan and financial agreements that support their children's well-being and avoids costly and lengthy disputes.
The Financial Aspect
Divorce can be expensive, but it doesn't have to be. Tina points out that couples can save a considerable amount by choosing pro se mediation over traditional litigation. By working collaboratively in a controlled setting, both parents can feel safe to share their concerns, needs and proposals. Tina points out that, in her process, everyone works together as one "team" looking at all the options and finding the best solution to each problem. Tina points out that most couples using her process spend less than $5,000, which is considerably less than a litigated divorce which can easily cost a family upwards of $20-30k. Some families find themselves spending even more. By taking a cooperative approach, couples can prioritize essential financial aspects and work through compromises, reducing the likelihood of conflicts that lead to increased costs. As many attorneys will tell you: CONFLICT = COST when it comes to family law matters.
The Importance of Co-Parenting
Tina emphasizes that effective co-parenting is essential for both parents and children. Co-parenting involves keeping the lines of communication open and committing to mutual respect. Establishing a positive co-parenting relationship helps create a stable environment for children. The process of creating a parenting plan is an expectation setting exercise for parents - an opportunity to align on how they want to parent their children so they can both operate from the same "playbook" going forward.
Tina also brought up the importance for special needs parents to take the time to craft a detailed parenting plan in order to prevent unnecessary stress on their children. She reminds parents that structure, consistency and stability are extremely important for neurodivergent children and parents must work hard to create a healthy post-divorce environment for their children. Also, children with physical disabilities or illness will require a lot of coordination from parents to ensure a positive outcome post-divorce.
Tools and Resources
Throughout the interview, Tina introduced several practical tools and resources to help parents manage divorce more effectively. For instance, using digital co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard or Talking Parents allows parents to coordinate schedules, communicate easily, and store important documents. These tools can prevent misunderstandings and keep both parents engaged in their children's lives.
Moreover, seeking emotional support from counselors or divorce coaches can be invaluable. Tina points out the need for parents to work on their own mental health to ensure they are not operating from a place of "fear" during their divorce process, because that will most certainly lead to emotional dysregulation and poor decision making skills.
The Role of Professional Assistance
An amicable divorce is possible when two people are committed to the process and engage the right professionals. The right mediator is critical in setting the tone for how the parents will engage through out the divorce process, but Tina also reminds us that engaging experts and consultants can significantly improve the outcomes for families. These professionals provide guidance tailored to each unique situation, helping couples find unique solutions to their problems and reach fair agreements that work for both of them.
Preparing for the Transition
Transitioning to a post-divorce life can be hard on families. Tina suggests creating a detailed plan to tackle emotional and logistical changes. Clear communication with children aids in their understanding and coping processes. An open dialogue between parents can help children feel safe and secure, drastically reducing their stress.
Tina also underscores the importance of self-care for parents. Activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies can improve mental well-being. When parents prioritize their health, they are more effective at supporting their children through a challenging time.
The Long-Term Benefits of an Amicable Divorce
The interview highlights the long-term advantages of pursuing an amicable divorce. Tina explains that parents who navigate their divorce collaboratively have a higher chance of maintaining positive relationships after the process. This not only benefits the parents but serves as a strong example for children about healthy conflict resolution.
Additionally, avoiding lengthy court battles reduces emotional and financial stress on families, smoothing the transition to new lifestyles and keeping their assets within their own family unit. Families that prioritize cooperation and communication are more likely to create a stable environment, which aids in healing and growth for everyone involved.
Moving Forward with Hope
Tina Keyes' insights from her discussion on the Oviedo Winter Springs Chamber's "Studio 434" Podcast provide vital strategies for parents facing divorce. By focusing on communication, co-parenting, peaceful resolution, and seeking the right professional help, parents can navigate this challenging phase more successfully.
Embracing an amicable approach to divorce can lead to healthier family dynamics. As families learn to collaborate, they can safeguard their children's emotional well-being and create a brighter future post-divorce. With the right mindset and resources, divorce can signal not an ending, but the beginning of a new, enriched chapter for both parents and children.
To get in touch with Tina Keyes and learn more about how to work with her, go to http://www.floridadivorcecoaching.com
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