What do you do with the marital home during a divorce with kids in Florida?

Divorce often presents significant challenges, particularly when it involves major assets like the marital home. For many, the family home represents years of hard work and is their most substantial financial asset, making its division a crucial aspect of the divorce process. This complexity intensifies when coupled with the emotional toll of separation, which can lead to lengthy and contentious legal battles.

Mediation as an Amicable Alternative

Tina Keyes, the founder of Florida Divorce Coaching and Mediation, specializes in amicable divorce processes for parents, both as a mediator and a coach. In this interview with local realtors Diana Sacoto and Scott Garrison, Tina highlights how much the approach to divorce significantly impacts future outcomes. While some divorces drag on for years in court, resolved through intense litigation, others conclude amicably through what is known as a "kitchen table divorce," where parties divide assets themselves. Mediation offers a balanced approach between these extremes, allowing couples to craft agreements tailored to their unique circumstances.

Mediation provides a space for guided conversation, where both parties can agree on solutions that suit them, without being rigidly bound by statutory requirements that a judge must follow. Judges typically do not intervene if both parties reach a mutual agreement. This flexibility allows for creative solutions that may not be available in a courtroom setting.

Marital Home During Divorce - Division in Florida

In Florida, state statutes generally guide judges towards a 50/50 division of assets.

However, through mediation, couples can explore diverse and creative options for dividing real estate.

• One Spouse Retaining the Home: This can involve one party completely giving the house to the other, or a refinance with a cash buyout of the other person's equity. Alternatively, one person might keep the home entirely, with the other being bought out using other assets.

• Delayed Sale for Children's Stability: A recent case highlighted in the interview involved using other assets for the wife to purchase a new home, while the husband kept the original marital home for five years until both children finished high school. This arrangement, agreed upon by both parties, included specific plans for the future sale, realtor choice, title company, and handling changes in home value.

• Assignment of Debt: In the aforementioned case, a mortgage broker facilitated language around an "assignment of debt" in the marital settlement agreement, freeing the wife from responsibility for the original mortgage loan and allowing her to qualify for a new home purchase. Such intricate solutions are typically unavailable in a courtroom due to time and information constraints.

Mediators facilitate discussions that take into account the couple's entire shared financial history, enabling agreements that both individuals can accept, even if they do not find every single term ideal. This often contrasts sharply with court outcomes, where one party typically "wins" and the other "loses," making future amicable co-parenting challenging.

The Importance of Professional Guidance

Engaging experienced professionals early in the process is crucial. Family law attorneys are knowledgeable about the law but often advise clients to consult realtors, mortgage brokers, financial advisors, and CPAs for specialized expertise.

• Realtors: An experienced realtor team, particularly those with a long history in the community, can provide vital information about the market, equity, and options for selling or retaining the home. They can also refer clients to other trusted professionals. Realtors play a crucial role in information gathering, helping clients understand if selling is the right option or if one person can keep the house while the other purchases a new property. They can also help both parties make informed decisions that lead to mutually beneficial outcomes.

• Mortgage Brokers: They can explain options like refinancing or assignment of debt, which can significantly impact a person's ability to secure new housing and unlock opportunities for compromise.

• CPAs/Financial Advisors: These experts provide essential data on tax implications, such as capital gains tax on a home sale, which can influence the timing and terms of an agreement. Tina Keyes stresses that no agreement should be finalized without understanding the tax implications.

It is vital to select professionals with significant experience and a reputation for prioritizing client well-being over maximizing billable hours. Individuals should seek referrals from trusted sources, rather than relying on general online searches, especially given the emotional and financial stakes involved.

The Mediation Process and its Benefits

Tina Keyes typically conducts "pro se mediation," involving two people without lawyers in a room (often virtual), discussing issues directly. This approach allows for ample space to think and slow down the decision-making process, which is often rushed in emotionally charged situations.

• Focus on Problem Solving: In Tina's Mediation model, divorce is viewed as a problem-solving exercise, frequently involving financial calculations to achieve "equitable distribution" rather than strictly "equal distribution". This distinction acknowledges that a 50/50 split may not always be fair given a couple's financial history.

• Structured, Palatable Sessions: Unlike traditional marathon mediation sessions that can last 4 to 8 hours, Tina Keyes prefers shorter, more frequent meetings (typically 1-2 hours weekly). This approach prevents overwhelm, allows time for reflection and "incubation" of ideas, and helps clients feel empowered by making consistent progress.

• Reduced Conflict and Costs: A core benefit of mediation is its ability to significantly reduce conflict, which directly translates to less stress, less aggravation, and less money spent. Conflict in family law is inherently expensive. Mediating even just the parenting plan can help parents learn to communicate effectively and craft detailed agreements that prevent future disputes, saving long-term financial and emotional costs.

• Children's Well-being as a Priority: A primary motivator for Tina Keyes is preventing trauma for children. Mediation fosters communication and cooperation between co-parents, aiming to set children up for success and a stable future, even amidst the family restructuring.

• Empowerment and Control: Mediation offers individuals more control over the outcome compared to litigation, where a judge's decision is final and unchangeable without mutual agreement. Compromising in mediation allows parties to retain significant control over the specifics of their agreement.

• Choosing Peace: While amicable divorce may seem counterintuitive, it is a conscious choice to prioritize peace and constructive problem-solving over anger and resentment. This mindset not only benefits the separating couple but also positively impacts their children and even future relationships.

• Cost-Effectiveness: Mediation is generally less costly than engaging attorneys from the outset. Tina Keyes offers free initial consultations, providing a no-risk opportunity for individuals to explore a different path to divorce.

Conclusion

The divorce process can be viewed as a restructuring of the family unit, where one partnership (romantic) may end, but others (parenting, financial, friendship) can be preserved. By choosing mediation and engaging the right professionals, individuals can navigate divorce with greater control, reduce conflict and costs, and ultimately foster a healthier environment for themselves and their children long-term. This approach aims to deliver a "better future" where all parties can coexist peacefully and productively.

To learn more about Tina's Mediation Services, visit www.floridadivorcemediation.com or book a consultation here:

Tina is also the creator of the Kids-First™ Mediation process, which you can learn more about on www.kidsfirstmediation.com